Happy Birthday to You Aiden Gray!

Today you turned two. Now that the day is over (atleast for you) I have time to reflect on everything that happened! I thought it would be funny if we had a surprise party for you. When Mimi and Poppy brought you over from a sleepover at their house, you had the cutest look of surprise on your face! I was shocked to actually see you speechless for the first time in weeks. We had a good time though, with Mimi & Poppy, Granny Chastain, Gma & Pawpaw, Grammy &

Poppa, and your friends Lori and Ben and Drevyn!

.

I can't believe you have been alive for 730 days. I have spent every one it seems trying to grasp a memory for that day. The thought of all of them overwhelm me to tears. I wish I could remember every moment we have spent together. I wish that I could catalog my memories like photographs. I tear up when I think back to the day I brought you from the hospital and we spent it cuddled together. God, we spent days in bed. Weeks. I want to go back in time and soak up the memories of the look in your eyes.

.

One of my favorite memories is singing you to sleep, over and over and over. I never got tired of it because I knew that there would come a day when I wouldn't be able to hold you in my arms and sing to you as you sucked your thumb and became heavier as your body drifted to comfortable sleep. Now I'm crying. Last week you threw your first temper tantrum and you threw yourself into hysterics with grief. I was able to hold you, as I did for so many nights and sing you to you. You won't ever remember the song, but it goes like this (forgive my lack of creativity, Daddy is the musician you know...) "Aiden. Aiden Gray. Aiden Gray DeFoor. I love you and you love me, but I love you much more." Still, last week, as I sang to you and you stopped fighting, I was so pleased with the look of comfort that came over your face as you heard my voice. I wonder if that will be the last time.

.

I want to get stuck in those moments with you and never move forward. But then, today happens. And then tomorrow happens! What would I be giving up if I never got to see tomorrow?! I'm lucky that every day has been better than the last. That new memories overcome old ones.

.

I love you. I can't wait until tomorrow when I get to see you again.

.

Love,

Mama